Issue #2 — When Busy Became My Identity

The Hustle That Had Me Hooked

Remember Scandal? Olivia Pope. Flawless, unshakable, handling crises before anyone else even knew there was a problem.

There was a season in my life when I wasn’t just watching Olivia.
I was her. Gladiator in heels. The fixer. The strong one.
The person everyone leaned on when something needed saving, at work, at home, in life.

And I carried that role with pride.

I’d wake up at 2AM with marketing ideas racing through my mind, then be up at 4AM getting ahead on emails, running on adrenaline and autopilot.
I told myself I was just being productive. But if I’m honest?

I was trying to be everything for everyone.
I thought being needed meant I was valuable.
And I mistook staying busy for being worthy.

When Being the Strong One Stops Feeling Strong

There’s a specific kind of pressure that comes with being a high-achieving woman, especially if you’ve been the one who always holds it all together.

As a Black woman, that pressure felt even more layered.
In my household I was taught to be 10X as good, to stay ready, to be unshakeable.
But so many women, across all backgrounds, carry this same silent weight.

We take on all the roles. We hold the family, the team, the vision, the group chat.
We give our best energy to everyone else, then wonder why we’re running on empty.
We over-function. We push. We perform.
But performance isn’t peace. And busyness doesn’t mean you're okay.

And the more you perform that strength, the more people expect it.
Eventually, it becomes part of your personal brand…reliable, resilient, always on.
The pressure doesn’t just come from within. It comes from being rewarded for showing up without showing strain.
Even when you’re drowning, people still hand you more.

Eventually, I had to stop and ask myself:

What am I doing just to feel like I’m enough?
And is that really how I want to measure my worth?

From Burnout to Grounding

I’m learning that grounding isn’t just about slowing down. It’s about being honest with yourself first.

It’s choosing to show up for you the way you show up for everyone else. It’s remembering that your value isn’t tied to how many boxes you check or how many people you help.

Now, when I feel the pull to prove, I pause.
I ask: What would it look like to be enough, even if I didn’t do a thing today?

That’s the kind of life I’m building. With intention.

Questions That Helped Me Reset

If you’ve been carrying too much, too quietly, these questions might help:

• What parts of my life have I used to prove that I’m “doing enough”? (The nonstop calendar? The overcommitment? The unread emails?)
  

• What do I say yes to out of obligation, not alignment?
  

• Who do I become when I stop trying to hold it all together and just let myself be?

Let’s Keep This Glow Going

This space is about unlearning the noise and listening to your own truth.

If this spoke to you, I’d love to hear what it brought up.

Forward this to a friend: Maybe she’s been moving too fast to hear herself lately.
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Because I fundamentally believe the glow gets brighter when we share it.

Until next time, rest well, stand tall, and remember you don’t have to earn your worth.

With love and light,
LaShanda 💫